


Sam's Playlist

by DarkHarmony



Category: Supernatural
Genre: But i have used two songs, First Time, M/M, Post Playthings, Season 2, not exactly a songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-22 07:52:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19663000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkHarmony/pseuds/DarkHarmony
Summary: Sam's out for a walk and Dean finds his MP3 Player. Being Dean, he decides to snoop and finds a playlist with his name on it. What he finds will forever change his relationship with Sam.Sorry, I suck at summaries.





	Sam's Playlist

**Author's Note:**

> Set in Season 2, after Playthings, but you don't have to see it to read this.  
> Also, I have taken the liberty of AUs and released a 2015 song and a 2012 song in 2006; fight me!
> 
> Also also, I wrote this at 4 am. All mistakes are mine, unlike the characters who belong to Kripe.
> 
> Songs used: 'Drive' by Halsey and 'Runnin' by Adam Lambert.

It was a beautiful morning. Dean woke up to mild nettled sunshine dancing on his face. Many mornings were a quick affair: get up at the crack of dawn, get dressed, get some coffee, a shower, wait for Sam to tell him everything about a case, build a plan of action- whom to talk to, which lore to read up on, which weapons to clean and sharpen- and kill some ugly monster. This morning, however, was a slower one. They’d just finished a job, they weren’t injured and everything was well.

The last case had been relatively easy, but there were moments he would have been glad to never hear of again, namely the promise Sam had made him make. He never should have done it. He should have pushed Sam off and let him go to sleep. But Dean being Dean had, for the millionth time in his life, gotten caught up in Sam’s puppy dog eyes. Twenty four years of living with that boy and he was just as weak as the first time Sam had ever used them. He would never be immune to Sam, and in the end, he was okay with it. What he sometimes wasn’t OK with was his own feelings towards his _brother._ But that was a thought he left alone.

He got up and stretched when his eyes fell on a treasure. Sam had gone for a morning run and coffee- _the absolute freak show, you get ONE day of rest and you wanna get up early in the morning and exercise!?_ \- but had left behind his MP3 player. This was absolute gold.

Quickly, he shuffled over to Sam’s bed and picked it up. Instead of songs, Sam had divided his library in ‘albums’ which were, obviously, not real albums of real artists. The albums were all titles of playlists. Dean was a little impressed at this work-around since you couldn’t really make playlists on MP3 players. The playlists though… teasing material 101.

Snickering to himself, he put on the one labeled ‘Guilty Pleasure’ and ‘Love Story’ by Taylor Swift started up. Dean could genuinely not hold his laughter in, his eyes twinkling at how much he was going to straight up _torture_ his brother. He continued this, going through hordes of embarrassing playlists until one made him freeze up.

One title; one word that wiped the smile right off his face and made his heart race. With trembling fingers and adrenaline coursing through his veins, he selected the playlist Sam had titled ‘Dean’. Swallowing, he sat down on the bed as a girl’s voice sang out:

_My hands wrapped around your stick shift,_

_Swerving on the 405, I can never keep my eyes off this._

Dean’s heart hammered in his chest. This is what Sam listened to and thought of him?

_My neck, the feeling of your soft lips,_

_Illuminated in the light, bouncing off the exit signs I missed…_

The air in the room suddenly felt thick and heavy. Dean didn’t know what to do- what he _could_ do apart from sit there and listen.

_All we do is drive_

_All we do is think about the feelings that we hide_

_All we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign_

_Sick and full of pride_

_All we do is drive._

This… this didn’t mean anything- did it? It couldn’t. Sam- did Sam also feel the same way? Could he? Between all the fighting and the ugliness of their lives, could they have something… beautiful? Dean was just reading too much into this, wasn’t he? Maybe, once, when Sam was all gangly limbs and teenage angst he could have seen something in Dean, but now? After Stanford? There was no way-

_And California never felt like home to me_

_And California never felt like home_

_And California never felt like home to me_

_Until I had you on the open road and now we're singing…_

Sitting back, not knowing what to do with this new information, he resigned himself to listening to the whole song.

_Your laugh, echoes down the hallway,_

_Carves into my hollow chest, spreads over the emptiness._

_It's bliss_

_It's so simple but we can't stay,_

_Over analyze again, would it really kill you if we kissed?_

Dean would have fallen if he wasn’t already sitting down. He threw the player back on the bed and moved back to his own. He didn’t want anything to do with that ungodly piece of trash. This- this had to mean something… right? It couldn’t just be, Sam couldn’t have figured Dean out and then left this here _on purpose_ to mess with his head- could he? He wouldn’t do that. Dean was sure he wouldn’t. Sam wasn’t that kind of a person. He wasn’t. He couldn’t be… could he? No! No. Of course not. Right?

Gathering up courage, Dean walked back up to the device. Back at the same album, he picked another song.

_Steel to my trembling lips_

_How did the night ever get like this?_

_One shot and the whiskey goes down, down, down._

_Bottom of the bottle hits_

_Waking up my mind as I throw a fit_

_The breaking is taking me down, down, down._

_My heart's beating faster, I know what I'm after_

_I've been standing here my whole life_

_Everything I've seen twice, now it's time I realize_

_It's spinning back around now, on this road I'm crawling_

_Save me ‘cause I'm falling, now I can't seem to breathe right_

_'Cause I keep runnin', runnin', runnin', runnin'_

_Runnin', runnin', runnin', runnin'_

_Runnin' from my heart_

_Round and around I'd go, addicted to the numb_

_Living in the cold_

_The higher, the lower the down, down, down_

_Sick of being tired and-_

The door opened and Sam walked in, drenched in sweat and holding a paper bag. Dean freaked out, throwing the player and the headphones down and jumping back into his own bed, but it was too late. Sam had seen him.

“First my laptop and now my MP3 player!” he said in exasperation. “When will you learn to keep your mitts to yourself?”

It was only then that Sam noticed the wild-eyed look on his brother’s face. Dean _never_ panicked, even in situations that he maybe should. Sam catching Dean snooping through his stuff had never resulted in the deer-in-the-headlights reaction before. It was usually all smirks and teasing. Dean was freaked out and Sam was starting to have a vague idea why.

“You didn’t!” he whispered to Dean. Dean looked away guiltily. “Tell me you have the basic human decency to not go through a playlist- on someone else’s MP3 player, which they forgot, I might add- with your name on it.”

“Sam, I didn’t think-”

Sam took two steps back and put his hand up in a way that communicated ‘Stop talking’. “No, you go and surf porn on my laptop, you download a thousand viruses on it, you tease me about the books I read, you go through my phone messages and voicemails and I don’t say anything about it. It is an invasion of privacy but whatever, you're _Dean_ , of course you're going to do all that annoying shit. But this?” Sam swallowed and Dean wanted to say something but the glare he was receiving made the words turn to ash. There was barely controlled rage in his younger brother’s features. “I wouldn’t be angry if it was the stupid emo bands or whatever you want to tease me with because it does not conform to your ideals of manhood, but come on! A playlist with your actual name on it? What were you thinking?”

The rage bled out from his posture and he sank down on his bed, his head in his hands. Watching him in agony was not something Dean could stand, so he gingerly walked to Sam. He put a hand in his hair and Sam leaned into it. “Hey, Sammy!” he gently said. Those words served as a trigger and Sam crumbled. Shuddering, trying to keep his sobs in, Sam whispered a plea that broke his heart:

“Please don’t hate me!” Shocked, Dean took Sam in his arms, and Sam hugged back tight, as if it was the last hug he’d ever get. He continued begging, “Please, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to, okay? I-I tried to stop, but I can’t help it. I’m so sorry, Dean. Please don’t hate me. Please don’t leave.”

“Shh! Sam, what? I’m not going anywhere!” he promised. “Hey, no, look at me. I could never hate you.” Through tears, Sam braved a look at Dean. Those damn puppy dog eyes again. Dean pat his head, laying a kiss on his forehead. “It’s okay, Sam. It’s fine.”

Stubbornly, Sam shook his head as his hair went flying across his face. “How can you say that? After- after knowing what I- how I feel about you? This sick perversion running through my veins? I love you- I’m _in_ love with you.”

Dean blinked, just comprehending the enormity of those words. “You are?”

Sam took that as further proof that Dean just didn’t know, that he somehow hadn’t figured it out. “I’m so sorry!”

“What? No!” Dean said. “Don’t be sorry! Sam!” He bit his lip. Sam looked at him, waiting for whatever Dean would dish out. Dean sighed. “All these years and now you’re gonna make me say it out loud?” Sam continued looking lost so Dean looked away for a second, gathering his wits and then touched his forehead to Sam’s. “I have loved you all my life. I have been in love with you since before Stanford. I just never thought you might want me back too.”

Sam pulled away to look at Dean’s eyes, all he found there was sincerity. “Tell me you're not just saying that to calm me down.”

“How about I prove it?” asked Dean, before planting a searing kiss on his lips. It, in deed, was a beautiful morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Comments are my life and blood.
> 
> Get some sleep and stay hydrated. Love you all :)


End file.
